If you're busy going through your Saturn Return or have already come out the other side – no matter how long ago – it is always great to read others' stories. No you're not going crazy, the Saturn Return is a time of big changes and it can be difficult, but when you realise it is just part of a bigger plan and that this is a rite of passage, it might help to ease the transition and keep your eye on the light at the end of the tunnel.
(Share your own story here)
"My Saturn in the 5th House played out in the fact that I had my first child late in life (for my generation), at 28. Now that seems more like the norm, but it was a big deal back then. It also took me a long time in life for me to realize that I was a creative person, or to have the creativity unlocked."
"I have Saturn in Virgo also have my sun, moon, and north node in Virgo and almost all planets in the 4th house. It was the best of times and the worst of times. My grandfather (whom I was very close to as a child) passed away last November; but death did not come easily to him. He spend about 6 months going in and out of the nursing home/hospital; paralyzed from a stroke and on the brink of death several times. Everytime I visited him he could only utter the words: "Home, Home." He wanted to die at home but I don't know many 4th house stories that are quite as exact as that! I mean the 4th rules home/maternal side of the family (it was my mother's father). Additionally, after he eventually did get to go home, he died at home. The home I spent 90% of my childhood in. Then, to make matters worse, the entire extended family on my Mom's side began harassing me to spend the night there so my grandma would not have to be alone. There were about 9 more months of ensuing drama around this issue-until they finally listened to me and hired a full time care provider for my grandma. During this time, I'm switching jobs, getting engaged, moving, dealing with my fiancee's health issues, and negotiating personal boundaries with difficult bosses/friends/coworkers. For me it has been all about finding your own two feet and learning to go within when the people in your life are treating you as a slave. Learning boundaries is a big part of it. I also have learned to distinguish between those friends I'd rather not have and those I would. Saturn has taught me a lot."
"My Saturn is 20 Virgo in the 6th…so I'm having a VERY virgo-ish period! I feel stripped of all previous values. When the Return began, I picked at myself and criticised myself relentlessly for not having laid down any foundations before, I was angry with myself when I saw how much my friends had accomplished while I was off travelling for 5 years. Suddenly my years of travel meant nothing, I wanted a career, money, a house, marriage. I was never into long term goals and commitment before that and since my Saturn Return started it's all ive been focusing on! I'm pursuing a career as a psychologist but its a very long road, this period for me has been about building skills, I'm mainly engaged in volunteer work right now so it's funny that above you ask "who's slave are you?" That's how it feels, I'm working like crazy for no pay at all! Surprisingly I haven't had any health worries (so far!) but ive been very into health and fitness and improving my diet. And also analyzing how I use my energy on a day to day basis has been a focus for me. I'm dying for this return to be over so I can get more balance back into my life. All work and no play….."
"I am 29 turning 30 this coming January and have only just discovered today why it feels like I have been falling apart, then ok, questioning EVERYTHING, then ok, falling apart again, then ok and so on for the past few years.
To the day, 29.5 years, which was just a few weeks ago for me, I started questioning my life and all the recent changes I had made, moved country to be with my boyfriend, had retrained earlier in the year as a Life Coach, so setting up my new business here, in a place I don't know anyone. Almost 2 years ago to the day, I had the most amazing and most awful summer of my life, had a neurotic breakdown, moved back home which was hugely traumatic and lived like a zombie for 6 months with my parents, who I've only ever wanted to be away from. As you can probably sense, I am just thrilled to know that I AM NOT ALONE and this actually makes total and utter sense. My boyfriend has been calling me the LOST SOUL! And I was beginning to think I was just that. But, nothing is lost in the mind of God!!! I momentarily forgot that! I am an Aquarius, who has been trying to live an incredibly conservative, traditional, standard life all this time, because that's what my parents want! And apparently, the guilt I feel about doing what I really want, prevents me everytime. I did often think, why do I do the complete opposite to what I actually want to do? What in God's name is wrong with me. Such relief I feel now though to just know that. To know that's why I could never stick with anything, because it just so wasn't me I couldn't bear it past a few months and I mean jobs, boyfriends, hobbies, friends, university courses, you name it! Just by being able to name it and read other's stories like yourselves, I feel much happier. Thank you all, you've really made a difference in my day, my week and probably my life!"
To the day, 29.5 years, which was just a few weeks ago for me, I started questioning my life and all the recent changes I had made, moved country to be with my boyfriend, had retrained earlier in the year as a Life Coach, so setting up my new business here, in a place I don't know anyone. Almost 2 years ago to the day, I had the most amazing and most awful summer of my life, had a neurotic breakdown, moved back home which was hugely traumatic and lived like a zombie for 6 months with my parents, who I've only ever wanted to be away from. As you can probably sense, I am just thrilled to know that I AM NOT ALONE and this actually makes total and utter sense. My boyfriend has been calling me the LOST SOUL! And I was beginning to think I was just that. But, nothing is lost in the mind of God!!! I momentarily forgot that! I am an Aquarius, who has been trying to live an incredibly conservative, traditional, standard life all this time, because that's what my parents want! And apparently, the guilt I feel about doing what I really want, prevents me everytime. I did often think, why do I do the complete opposite to what I actually want to do? What in God's name is wrong with me. Such relief I feel now though to just know that. To know that's why I could never stick with anything, because it just so wasn't me I couldn't bear it past a few months and I mean jobs, boyfriends, hobbies, friends, university courses, you name it! Just by being able to name it and read other's stories like yourselves, I feel much happier. Thank you all, you've really made a difference in my day, my week and probably my life!"
"Another Saturn returner in Virgo here! The past year and a half I felt like i was waking up from a big delusional dream, broke up with the loser-mooch i had been with for over a decade! Lost my old job but it gave me the time and opportunity to go to school to be something (well, one of many!) i've always wanted to be: a healer. I feel a sense of calmness now, like I shook off the dead weight and took a look at what *I* wanted out of life, instead of drifting about other's dreams. I even have a new chapter in romance with someone responsible, a genuinely good person, and the chemistry is off the hook man! Also, on a side note, I look and feel better than I ever have in my whole life. I'm almost 30 and I'm modelling?!!! Crazy. THANKS SATURN!"
"Saturn has returned to beat me up severely. During the last year and half I got divorced, found out I am gluten intolerant, experienced the worst financial crisis of my independent life, moved to another country and discovered my soul mate on the other side of the world. Restrictions, karma, health crisis, more responsibilities at work, limits, overcoming old traumas, late blooming, backache, older partner, yeah everything matches… (Saturn in Virgo in the 7th conjuncts mercury, sextiles venus, squares neptune, trines chiron). Breath, choose, put yourself together and go…"
"I have Saturn in Virgo in the 3rd house and have had severe traumas related to education throughout my life and self-esteem issues related to it (ie. not performing up to standard even though I am capable… theoretically). Well I just found out that I've been going through a Saturn Return, I just up and quit a horrible job (personal assistant = slave, literally!) and time and space has opened up for me to go back to school, or to go back home, but both choices seem incredibly daunting. I will read more about this to see if it can help me make up my mind. Peace."
"Hi all. So glad I found this online. I am experiencing my second Saturn Return in Virgo in the 7th house at 29 degrees, square Chiron in the 11th and Mars/Moon conjunction in 2nd house opposite Saturn. This transit is kicking my butt. Lotz of emotion, marriage is falling apart (I've been trying to leave for years) and I am scared. I'm learning I have to take care of ME for a change. I am also gluten intolerant and having intestinal issues. Work/money have been up and down which makes it more difficult to leave the relationship. I have been fantasizing about moving to another country which is funny since some of you said you did! Right now things have become very bad and I'm dealing with fear–lotz of it. I will get through this!"
"I have never been more unsure of myself in all my 31 years. It was a gradual progression that has ended in severe isolation. Like domino's, one by one I began having conflicts with those that I thought were close or important people in my life. I started feeling like I had nothing in common with anyone around me. I felt like most people around me were shallow and that perhaps I had been shallow. Its hard to determine just how serious this was becoming because as an only child and being a Virgo, I have always struggled with friendships and a tendency to prefer my own company. I became paralized in terms of my creativity and lost interest in the things I use to enjoy. I kept telling myself that this was part of clearing the old and making room for the new but with every month that passed I found a reason to rid of one more friend and would have to force myself to pick up a pen and write about these new feelings and emotions that were taking over. I gained fifty pounds after just previously losing a significant amount of weight. I took refuge in an unhealthy/codependant relationship with my mother and have been clinging to her for support and security though I know deep inside she offers me neither. I am awaking to patters and dysfunctions but I still find little motivation to DO anything. So here I am deep into this thing that has turned my life upside down and I have no one but myself and I find it hard to enjoy even my own company. I know it may sound like a rant and perhaps even a narcissistic rant at that but this is how I feel and how I have become and it scares me. Will this ever end because it feels like a bottomless pit? I have read how so many creative and wonderful movements and geniuses have come from Saturn in Virgo but what about the meltdowns, the thoughts of suicide and struggle to make it though what can be a very volatile time for some? – Hanging on by a Thread."
"It has been at times volatile/nasty for me, at times incredibly peace-inducing for me, at most times revelatory for me. Hugs hugs hugs to you. You are loved. I know it can sound pollyanna-ish, but… it's simply true."
"Hello all. I was reading through everyone's posts, glad to know I wasn't alone, but didn't feel like I connected with most of the people's experiences here until I read Still Hanging on by a Thread's thread. I'm letting you know that I know what you are going through buddy. Just out of curiosity, which house is your Saturn in Virgo in? Mine's in the 2nd, world of financial stability and possessions. So on the onset, I literally got #$%#&-aped by those who I thought were close and dear to me. Then when that was over, I went to the people who I thought would help me recover through this and then ended up getting marginalized and becoming dependent on people who…how can I say it accurately…only cared so far as the conditions were right for them. That part about your mother hit home with me. I lost everything and just wanted those around me to understand what I went through, meanwhile they seemed to just want the problem to go away and not deal with the emotional trauma you are going through. So its like suddenly being thrown in the middle of a foreign country where nobody speaks your language. And you thought you were in your homeland, but turns out people were just catering to you before when you were strong, vibrant, and independent, but now that your value has deteriorated everyone's become really small, brutish, and getting their snipes in when they can. After all its not often you are down and exposed like this. An example would be people who you knew were kind of resentful towards you but were close family, like a brother/sister/cousin/best friend. You can see it on their faces and in their voices how much they enjoy seeing you go through this. Hence the shaving of social contact part. What's particularly disgusting is how these people try to act like they care and are helping you, but then you catch them undermining your recovery efforts. Those who aren't actually kicking you while you are down can't seem to see what's really going on, because they don't want to find the time to see it. Hear no evil, see no evil kind of situation. They didn't stab ya with the knife, but they bought them and left them lying around. I know that depression, stalemate, and suicidal contemplation you are going through. It sends chills through my spine when I remember where I was at only about two years ago. I almost gave up, but then something happened that gave me a chance to get out. So…..finally you make the move and break free of all those around you who "if ain't part of the solution, then part of the problem" people, and make real changes. For me it's going to another country, starting over, and then rebuilding. But then you find yourself falling into some old bad habits, but then Saturn breaks that again (2nd return phase). You then do what you gotta do and when it seems like you are in the clear, trouble brews again. But just when it seems like you've made a terrible mistake and started envisioning ways to end your life, sudden news and luck happens that puts you in a place waaaayyyy better then you were before you lost everything in the first place!!! This is where I am ABOUT to enter now. And coincidently, this will begin…Nov. 1st…Jesus, like right when the whole thing ends. So don't give up and try to just bear through it. Cleanse your soul and find the things that truly help you while throwing away ANYTHING that handicaps you. Don't give up is what I'm saying."
"Wow there's so much going on for me over the past two years: Before I'd even heard about Saturn Return I started to question what I was doing career wise, and why it was that I felt that I wanted to up and change careers completely. I'm talking from working fixing computers go going and studying Ayurveda of all things! My relationship of 9 years came to an end earlier this year, and there had been trouble brewing for a good 12-18 months prior. My ex whom I felt perhaps we could still make things work will be moving interstate to start new with someone else this weekend just before the end of this Saturn Return which I thought an incredible coincidence and also finally realised it meant that it was well and truly over and I can move on with what *I* want to do. I've stopped engaging in activities that I did with others in mind and moved back towards the calming, medative activities such as yoga, less competitive and more patient. It is incredible how much has changed and now much I finally see now needed to change with me. I'd love to know how to find out what house i'm in as I'm still trying to grasp the more finer details of how it works… I will be 30 in June 2010."
"This is amazing stuff – I'm 30, 7th house in Virgo for Saturn return and it is good to know other people have had similar problems. There must be something funky in my chart as I seem to have had simultaneously the worst relationship stuff (I nearly got married and then lost the love of my life due to some horribly unfortunate and complicated factors) and then the best time of my life in terms of my career. Left me with the gutted, hollow feeling that I somehow sacrificed the important relationships for destiny, was very sad at the same time as having to behave in a career oriented manner. He found a new lady just at the beginning of the last return, not sure if he is really truly happy but I am beginning to get on my feet again. Guess some things were written in the stars before we have the opportunity to respond hey? Wish i had been more knowledgeable about this sort of stuff before."
"I am currently experiencing my first Saturn returns (Saturn in Virgo/4th house). Quite honestly, I don't know if I'm going to make it through. I feel increadibly lost, confused, depressed and hopeless. Dead ends are popping up everywhere. I started a business relationship about this time last year and seperated from it in September because I was being exploited by my business partner. I was (and still am) unsure about whether or not it was the right career field for me. Ironically however, since leaving the job I have become increasingly depressed. I didn't get three jobs that I had interviews for and the response overall to my applications for work have been basically nill. Something very new to me. I'm wondering if I should return to the work I do very well although I have some doubts about whether or not I really want to. The people I represented for work really want me to go back to it but I'm still not sure. I feel as though I might always wonder what would have happened if I explored other things… Can someone offer me any guidance. I feel so lost… as if all my energy has been taken from me and I have none left to assert my own life and dreams."
"I'm so glad I found this website. I began my relationship in 2007 that I thought would progress to marriage. Then in July of 2009 SR pulled the rug under my feet and my world was so chaotic. My boyfriend broke up with me even though he told me he loved me very much. He went crying to friends and families and experienced deep depression as well (He's a Sagittarius born in 1978 with SR in Virgo as well). We tried to get back many times but none of the timing lined up. Something always happened to prevent us from not meeting up. He finally made a decision not ever want to see me again even though he loved me very much.
I was in a deep state of depression where I cried for almost everyday until end of October. I sought professional help and I even took a couple of antidepressant pills. Nothing was helping me. At times my mind was just hazy and I couldn't pull myself out of the depression state.
Then in October I felt a strong force to start a business with a partner. Then I fell ill with H1N1 flu which forced me to stay in bed for two weeks. I was literally curled up on the floor crying and praying for mercy from God.
I eventually pulled out of that state of depression when SR left end of October but I was still feeling the depression from the lost love. Hearing from my friends, he was still going thru the depression state and anger state. But one positive thing was that he found a great job that he always wanted.
So now it's April 1st and I'm still feeling the longing and yearning for him even though I feel hopeless. I feel like this is never going to end for me. A few positive thing happened, however, during that last few months. I found my calling in my career life and I'm working hard at learning the skills for it. Everything seems to be in place but I'm still feeling the depression from the breakup. It's been nine months and it feels like I'm trapped and stuck here forever.
Does anyone here have any advice for me? I want to so badly to get out of this state of depression. It's affecting negatively on my ambition to move forward. Any help is greatly appreciated.
"
